just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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