I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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