Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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