I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
