so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
