I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
