So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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