Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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