I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize