We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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