You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
