32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she told me i tasted like america
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
