So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
