I wish I only lived at night.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
