I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
