i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
