I'm really into asian looking animals
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize