everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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