I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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