Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
