those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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