maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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