im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
