Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
