I want to have your abortion
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
