Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize