Its about making memories worth repressing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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