Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
