I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.