Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.