Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.