i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......