I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think your dad took our porno
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
