i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
