I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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