Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
