yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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