Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
