A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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