I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
