So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
