She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize