What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
