don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
