woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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