somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
