Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
