I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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