You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize