I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
