she sounds like chewbacca in bed
two words: eviction party
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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