ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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