somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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