yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
