Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
