Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
