i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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