I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
