Where is the hickey?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
