He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
